Map: Final

A few notes before reading:

The pieces I have written are all memories associated with parts of my body, so I have drawn in my body as the guiding map to our story. 

If you can read while music is playing, I have made this playlist to accompany my piece: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKYEFbYlkWnm1gFyRoITvtWzDNj14OK-r 

There are only three songs, but these are the songs I wrote to. Make sure you have the settings on repeat for the whole playlist because it will need to play twice to cover the whole span of your reading time. 

Thank you for everything- here's a little piece of my heart:

Reflective Practioner

https://drive.google.com/a/tramhiggins.com/file/d/0Bze-Wewe-VOgU2lJcnB5RFNlQlE/view?usp=sharing

Here's to the Search of the Great Something #8

For my last something, I share this quote because it perfectly describes the dichotomous nature of my world at the current moment. On one hand, it is nearly impossible to wake up and not feel some great weight on my shoulders- whether this weight is the world's grief or your personal troubles, there will always be weight. On the other hand, I always wake-up to some sense of sunlight- whether it's the pre-light obscurity of dawn, the rosy rays of sunrise or the deep warmth of late morning, there will always be light and that in itself must be a thread of hope.

Image

photo credit of underlying photo to camwelchphotography

In my image, a picture of a collection of lights is superimposed upon a photo of a mountain ridge in which two large rock features are connected by a bridge. I chose to combine these two images because I like the contrast between the solid connection of the bridge between two separate structures and the muted, clustered connection of the lights. In the photo of physical, real nature, the connection between two structures is clear and linear. In contrast, with the digitally fabricated cluster of lights, the connection seems to arrive in more of a ‘bursting’ effect. When I think of where my big ideas come from, I think of two systems of knowledge and thought at play. I have a linear side, a thought process that depends on words and phrases to draw greater connections amongst the fragments of my knowledge. However, I also have a strongly emotional side that encourages rash exuberances of thoughts that are often rooted in the cognitive version of magical realism. These two systems do not exist separate. I depend on both my linear side to push my knowledge to new boundaries, while I depend on my emotional side to constantly check that my thoughts and knowledge are foremost rooted in humanity. In Bolivia, a teacher once introduced the concept of sentipensamientos. In English, this word is a combination of ‘feelings’ and ‘thoughts’. In the West, we often like to separate the two, but I believe my good ideas arise when the passion from my gut whirs the gears in my brain to spin faster toward better horizons. I think, I feel, together.

One of the most compelling components of the reading is the idea of ‘transfer’. While the concept of ‘transfer’ was used to articulate the difficulties of bringing and drawing upon knowledge achieved in one context to a new context, I also think the process of transferring knowledge from one’s internal state to others is a crucial step in developing expertise. In the chapter, distinction arises between experts in content and experts who have the pedagogic capacity to transfer this knowledge to others. Expert teachers also “know how to tap into their students’ existing knowledge in order to make new information meaningful plus assess their students’ progress” (50). I think this is not only an important pedagogical consideration, but a crucial social function. ‘Big ideas’ should be shared- but they must also be able to be adapted to meet various knowledge levels. Particularly in social justice contexts, discussions of privilege and oppression can often be divisive even when ‘big ideas’ are rooted in valid personal experiences and empirical evidence. If social change is to be enacted, pedagogic expertise must be achieved alongside the mastery of content on these issues. Big ideas, like stories, have the capacity to be transformative. Even revolutionary, perhaps:

“The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us? A revolution of the heart is a paradigm shift in which our collective deck, our model of the world, gets reshuffled, changing the story for everyone. In a revolution of the heart, those who have put themselves to sleep awaken and healing begins to emerge where there has been harm” (Goldblard, 2005, p.5).

::

Goldblard, A. (2005). The Story Revolution: How Telling Our Stories Transforms the World. Community Arts Network Reading Room. http://wayback.archive-it.org/2077/20100906202511

Here's to the Search of the Great Something #7

For my 'something' this week, I have decided to share a letter written by one of my favorite authors, Caitlin Moran. The letter is a letter of advice for Moran's daughter, who has just turned 13. I share this for a few reasons:
1) The format of the letter here is extremely powerful because Moran is able to reflect on many components of life in the form of advice-giving; thus, she turns her inner thoughts and wisdom into an outward reflection that has the potential to guide and aide her daughter. The format of the letter converges wit and compassion into something truly uplifting.

2) In addition, all of the advice Moran gives in the letter- advice ranging from niceness to love to body image- could be transformed into special mantras.. From her paragraph on love, I have made the mantra: "I am so much more than a mender."

3) It is now hanging on my fridge, and I love it.

http://www.trueactivist.com/caitlin-morans-posthumous-advice-for-her-daughter/?utm_source=je&utm_medium=am&utm_campaign=antimedia

Mantra

My mantra is: a week is more than enough time to . I left the end portion blank on purpose because after my very difficult weekend, I needed to feel like I could just be again after much in my life has changed unexpectedly. I decided I needed my mantra to affirm that it’s okay to take things one step at a time, acknowledging that a lot can change over short periods of time. My growth in the meditation experience was a difficult process. My primary obstacles were images- dreaming back to past memories that would affect my emotional state, and consequently, my ability to stay focused during the meditation. In order to overcome this, my mantra ended up taking on a musical/rhythmic element in my head; in many ways, I sang it to myself so that it would consume me and keep me focused in a way that simply saying it couldn’t achieve. For my reflection this week, I tried my hand at a form of poetry that I hope reflects these challenges and my adjustments to my practice. It has a slight stream of consciousness element to it, but I hope it still conveys something effective. I know that the process of writing this poem was cathartic for me.

"When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” 

~ Paulo Coelho

A week is more than enough time to .

(1)

Today.

A week is more than enough time to fidget profusely.

Yesterday, there was pain like converging raindrops on windowsills.

All condensation falling then grouping and then staying

to be an ocean in finite spaces.

Today,

I fidget because words cannot form.

I see no letters, and

I feel no full articulat    .

I just see your face- and it does not come to me in words or phrases.

A week is more than enough time to fidget profusely because

seeing faces makes my stomach drop.

I blink my eyes shut,

hands clasped-

Please go away,

I want the face to go away.

Leave.

I am jittering, wound to escape this rigid embrace.

The ocean is there to wash over and through my suspended piece of time.

Today,

I must tell you that a week is more than enough time to

fidget profusely.

(2)

Today.

A week is more than enough time to say I’m sorry.

I’m sorry devotion has its limits, and

that I am shy in the face of this.

The wheeling leaves me nauseous

So I place my hands on the floor on either side of me to stay still.

Today, a week is more than enough time to say I’m sorry because

the apology is empowering-

rendering vulnerability as acceptance

to move a more selfless love elsewhere.

I’m sorry slows my pitter-patter heartbeat.

I’m sorry makes my back sit a little straighter.

I’m sorry

moves me toward becoming elation on edge.

I have a limited capacity for devotion.

I hear myself, and

Today,

I must tell you that a week is more than enough time to say

I’m sorry.

(3)

Today.

A week is more than enough time to eat chocolate without remorse.

Humming hmming yessing mmming.

The aches in my body do not take over this time.

Humming hmming yessing mmming.

I am floating on those coattails.

My mantra is so concrete this time,

slight but edgy enough to

send me flying,

to send me humming hmming yessing mmming.

Today,

a week is more than enough time to

eat chocolate without remorse.

(4)

Today.

A week is more than enough time to throw my hands way up high.

A week is more than enough time to throw those hands so so high,

oh yes oh yes oh yes yes it is.

A week is more than enough time to throw my hands way up high.

A week is more than enough time to throw those hands so so high,

higher higher higher higher

That face breaks in,

stomach drops.

This kink-

I’m coming back I’m coming back I’m coming back because

A week is more than enough time to throw my hands way up high.

A week is more than enough time to throw my hands so so high,

oh yes oh yes oh yes yes it is.

Hello my dearest heartbeat.

Today,

A week is more than enough time to

reach such great heights.

Here's to the Search of the Great Something #6

I am having a bit of a rough week, and this ad always makes me smile. Plus, it shows a great time-lapse of a growing relationship- displaying strength and change over time which I think is fitting in the world of reflection.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLpDiIVX0Wo